Girl to other girl: "Someone should put a dick in her mouth. That's the only way she shuts up."

Overheard by: David G.
Location: KSU

Wife: I need to get some new pants...my zipper broke!
Husband: Yeah, those are some nice pants.
Wife: No, it's what's in the pants that you like so much.

Submitted by: Danny D.
Location: Mall of Georgia

__________________________________________________________________________

Redneck girl: Milledgeville ain't gonna be the same once I'm gone!
Other redneck girl: Aww, hell naw, it aint!

Submitted by: Danny D.
Location: Jackyl Show

__________________________________________________________________________

Drunk 40ish year-old woman to her man: Damn, where the hell'd you go? I almost let some stranger feel me up!

Submitted by: Danny D.
Location: Jackyl Show

__________________________________________________________________________


Drunk younger guy to drunk older guy: Aw man, I love that shirt (the shirt simply said "titties and beer"), check out my shirt!
Drunk older guy in response: Hell yeah, I had a buddy of mine make it up for me...aw man, I love YOUR shirt! (Younger guy's shirt said "I get shit-faced...how do you deal with your problems?")

Submitted by: Danny D.
Location: Jackyl Show

Dear Haters,

If you don't think this journal is funny, don't come look at it.
If you think it should be a community, too bad.
I don't need, nor do I want your comments about how un-funny the posts are.

What I want here are fun, happy people that want to read Overheard In Atlanta and send me things to post (if they want to). Any complaints will be disregarded from this point on.

Thanks,
The Gatekeeper
(Yeah, I said it.)

Two quite large, ugly women with huge hair, tiny shirts, and too much makeup: HEY YALL, IF WE MAKE OUT WILL YALL GIVE US SOME BEERS?

Submitted by: Danny D.
Location: Parking Lot at the Poison Concert

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Don Dokken: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Clearly Not a Dokken Fan: THAT'S BECAUSE WE'RE NOT SCREAMING!

Submitted by: Danny D.
Location: The Lawn (Poison Concert)

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Bret Michaels: CC DEVILLE!
(about 32 times over the course of the hour and a half Poison set...likely under contractual obligation to say CC's name an average of every 90 seconds)

Submitted by: Danny D.
Location: Are you seeing a pattern?...... Poison Concert

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Employee at checkout to 2 large women: So, are you two sisters?
Large Lady: No, we're both just fat.

Submitted by: DK
Location: DSW Shoe Warehouse

Random Shopper: You know, I bet there are tons of gay couples out there named Adam and Steve.

Submitted by: Danny D.
Location: Mall of Georgia

Frat Boy to Frat Boy Friend: Dude, I think John's dating a black girl. He said her name was Shaunna.

Submitted by: David G.
Location: Fellini's

Girl #1: I mean, even though he has a short tooth he was still a good make out.

Girl #2: I'll tell you why he was a good make out... Because he was teething!

Submitted by: Me
Location: Octane

Just a reminder (since O.I.A. has over 50 readers now) that you guys should send me things to post! I can't make new posts unless you send me things you hear.

Just send me the quote, where you heard it, and who you are.

Email me at shaunna.faye@gmail.com

Thanks!

Gay guy to pregnant black woman: "If you don't quit using that vibrator so much your kid's gonna have shaken baby syndrome."

Location: Careerbuilder
Subitted by: David G.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Early 20's Pakistani Girl on balcony: "I've never been this naked before....I mean never this naked in public."

Location: Apartment Balcony
Submitted by: Tanya G.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Two black girls are discussing why black girl #1's boyfriend doesn't want her hanging out w/ black girl #2.

Black Girl #2: Am I really such a bad influence?! I mean, Bradley don't want me hanging out w/ Kiki either.

Black Girl #1: Well yeah, you are. It's cause you the single friend.

Black Girl #2: But, I ain't single now more! I'm married!

Black Girl #1: I know, but you still act like you single.

Black Girl #2: Yeah, but every nigga I fuck know I got a man in jail!

Location: MARTA
Submitted by: Tyler B.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Suit: Let me see your stethescope.

Nurse: What?

Suit: You gotta listen to my heart. You can hear it breaking right now.

Location: Shepherd Spinal Center
Submitted by: Tanya G.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Girl: Margaritas are like the Capri Suns of alcohol.

Location: Octane
Submitted by: Kelli

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Worker: I'm looking forward to the rapture. That way I won't have to worry about gas prices.

Location: Staples
Submitted by: Me

Guy Programmer:  I can only work the back-end.
Girl Programmer:  If you can only work the back-end and he can only work the front-end, there's gonna be trouble.

Location:  Outside of Careerbuilder
Submitted by:  Stancel
___________________________________________________________________________________________________


Girl:  She's not promiscuous...she just gets with a lot of guys.

Location:  Octane
Submitted by:  David G.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________


Grandma talking about her computer and iTunes:  It doesn't have one of those ACDC outlets.  When I search for stuff in iTunes I just look under gender.

Location:  Beach house in FL
Submitted by:  Chris and Shaunna
___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Woman:  He really thought that he could ride a unicycle that far of a distance and he thought that it would be easier to ride a unicycle from class to class than riding his bicycle.

Location:  Grady Hospital
Submitted by:  David G.

This entry will be slightly different because there is something new I'm trying out.  I saw something funny and took a picture of it.  So in addition to overheard entries I'm now adding overseen entries.  This is a short post because you guys are slackin' on your pimpin'.  Text, email, or myspace me anything you think is post-worthy!



Girl:  So, what, are we just gonna all like, go bottomless?

Location:  Estoria
Submitted by:  Tyler
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Pimpley Geek Barista:  So you want to do musicals?  You could do Cats...
Tall Gay Barista:  I was thinking of something more like "My neck, my back, my pussy and my crack."

Location:  Starbucks in Snellville
Submitted by:  Chris
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Girl on Cell Phone:  We don't do Christmas because we realized....we're buying stuff for other people.

Location:  Blockbuster
Submitted by:  Jeffery
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________



Do you see this?!  This dudes car could go rolling off the edge at any moment!  His front tire is literally inches away from rolling off the edge.  The best part is....he knew he pulled up too far when he parked.  He got out and looked at it, but then went right on ahead with his business.

Location:  Doc Green's parking lot on Ponce
Submitted by:  Shaunna and Chris

Girl talking to other Girl Friend:  I mean, do I love anything more than titties?  No, I don't.

Location:  Decatur Social Club (Azul)
Submitted by:  Shaunna and Scott

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

(A customer inquiring about T-Shirt printing when his friend's phone rings...)
Friend:  Yeah, its me...(pause)...you got that shit?...I got the truck...you in the trap?...be there in 15.

Location:  Print Shop
Submitted by:  Scott

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ghetto Girl On Cell:  Now don't laugh at me.  You're supposed to be my best friend.  So basically this is what happened, boo.  I bout died.

Location:  Vinings BP Station
Submitted by:  Kelli

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hyper Child (not using his inside voice):  Ooooooh, those cookies look so good!  I wish I could have some of those cookies, but they have chocolate in them, and I can’t have chocolate.  I’m allergic to chocolate.  My mom says I’m allergic to chocolate, and I can’t have any chocolate because it gives me DIARREAH!
Mom (mortified):  Sweetie, why don’t you go find a table?
Dad (trying to contain laughter):  Sorry about that, folks.

Location: McDonald’s counter in Lawrenceville
Submitted by: Danny D.

Crazy Crack Head:  Hey you guys!  Down at the Home Depot there's a bunch of guys selling tools and ladders and shit.  And they're doing crack so you can get stuff for real cheap!

Location:  ATL Scooters

Thug 1: I saw y'all talkin'. What was that about?
Thug 2: Well, he told me that he liked my shirt, and I told him that if he complimented me again while looking down my girls dress again I was gonna take him outside and whoop his ass until the street ran red with his blood...

Location:  The Royal (Sloppy Seconds party)
Submitted by:  Handsome Rob

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

(2 females walk by and both men stop talking and stare as they pass.) 
Construction Worker #1:  I swear man, all the pussy that is going to heaven hangs out at this mall.
Construction Worker #2:  I heard that man.

Location:  Lenox Mall
Submitted by:  Chris

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Server #1:  Timothy. You need to quit walkin around here rappin like you 'bout to kill somebody.
Server #2:  Man, between Jennifer callin me Kuntakentay, and you sayin' that, I'm about to go crazy.

Location:  Mary Mac's
Submitted by:  Boots

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

(All is quiet. Three servers bust in, all laughin)
Ms. Carol:  Oooooh!! You know I saw that girl diggin in her stuff!!

Location:  Mary Mac's
Submitted by: Boots

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Woman to small granddaughter in shopping cart:  Now, what do we do when a white man looks at you crazy?
Granddaughter:  Punch him in the face!
Grandmother:  That's right!

Location:  Walmart
Submitted by:  T.J.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A customer ordered a Caramel Apple Cider at Starbucks.
After making the drink, the clever barista read the name and the abbreviation "CAC" on the cup and yelled, "I got twenty ounces of CACK for Dave!"

Location:  Starbucks, Lavista Rd.
Submitted by:  T.J.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Shady Looking Guy:  Well can you call my PO then and tell him I want to go back to jail?

Location:  Daddy D'z
Submitted by:  David G.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Man: I got me a slurp-um, and he owes me money for it.
Manager: What in the world is a "slurp-um?"
Man: SUCKED MY DICK!
Waiter: Well, we don't serve that here! We're serving breakfast!

Location:  Broadway Diner on Peachtree
Submitted by:  Kevin

Grandson:  Can I have a Smoothie?
Grandmother: No, child, you ain’t special!
Grandmother (realizing what she had just said):  Well, I mean you’re special to me, but that’s it.

Location:  Sidewalk in front of Smoothie King
Submitted by:  Danny D.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Stepfather to Stepson:  I’m gonna slap the taste out’yo mouth.  If you were my boy, I’d already done smacked ya.

Location:  Retail store
Submitted by:  Danny D.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Daughter, responding to her teasing dad: You’re mean
Dad:  Well, that’s why your mom divorced me.

Location: Sign Shop in Lawrenceville
Submitted by:  Danny D.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Random Guy:  Gotdamn, it’s hot!  It’s like Africa hot!

Location: Outside (cause it’s Africa hot outside)
Submitted by:  Danny D.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ghetto Twentysomething Lady talking loudly on her cell phone:  No, she got all mad at me for the way I was dressin' n' dancin'......Yeeeaaahhhh, of course I was dancin' wit my boo, not that tricks.  Gurl, she just needs to get off me and get some dick.

Location:  Women's department in the Edgewood Target
Submitted by:  Ashley Dubbs

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lady walking by me napping in my car:  Lazy ass!

Location:  The Point
Submitted by:  Me


_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Blonde:  Oh!  Do they have those shirts?
Brunette:  (Sorting through rack of t-shirts)  No, all they have are "Save the Planet" ones.
Blonde:  Ewe.

Location:  Forever 21 - Gwinnett Mall
Submitted by:  Me


_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Woman talking to grandchild:  Remember we do our shopping on Wednesday because of the discounts.

Location:  Kroger in Marietta
Submitted by:  Kelli


_________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Cook one talking about his truck: I went easy on it because I didn't want to mess it up.
Cook two: Man, it's a truck. It needs to be . . . trucked.

Location:  Rathbuns Steakhouse
Submitted by:  Wadam

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Computer nerd 1: do you use msn?
Girl: yeah. all my friends overseas use it. i swear, we're like the only country that uses AIM.
Computer nerd 2: uhhhh
Computer nerd 1: it is *AMERICA* online instant messenger, you know.

Location:  Probably in a computer lab somewhere at GA Tech or something.
Submitted by:  Christina